Let’s be real — bringing up sex toys with your partner can feel awkward. Even if you’re both open-minded, it’s easy to worry about offending, surprising, or just flat-out embarrassing each other. But the truth is, toys can bring you closer, deepen trust, and open the door to a whole new kind of intimacy.
You just have to start the convo the right way.
Here’s how to talk about sex toys with your partner — without making it weird.
💬 Step 1: Set the Tone (Not the Pressure)
Start casual. Playful. Non-threatening.
Instead of “So… do you want to use a vibrator?” try:
- “I read this article about couples who use toys together — sounded kind of fun.”
- “Have you ever been curious about trying something different in bed?”
- “I saw this toy online and thought it could be fun for both of us — what do you think?”
Approach it like a shared experience, not a problem to fix. Curiosity > criticism.
💡 Step 2: Focus on Connection, Not Correction
The last thing you want is for your partner to feel like they’re “not enough.”
Frame the conversation around enhancement, not replacement:
| Avoid This | Try This Instead |
|---|---|
| “I’m bored…” | “I want to explore new things with you.” |
| “You don’t do [x] enough.” | “What if we added something fun to our routine?” |
| “I need this to get off.” | “I think this could make things even better for both of us.” |
This isn’t about performance — it’s about pleasure and play.
🧠 Step 3: Educate Together
Many people still carry misconceptions about sex toys (that they’re just for solo play, that they replace partners, or that they’re only for people with “issues”).
Dispel that by discovering together:
- Watch a review or read an article as a couple
- Visit a site like Lora DiCarlo or We-Vibe together
- Take a quiz to explore preferences or toy types (many brands offer them)
Learning together creates trust — and makes it feel like a shared adventure, not a confession.
🔥 Step 4: Start Simple
If your partner’s on the fence, don’t launch into full bondage kits or remote-controlled wearables.
Start with something couple-friendly:
- A mini vibrator that adds stimulation during intercourse
- A wearable toy you can control together
- A massage candle that melts into body-safe oil (yes, sensual tools count too!)
Soft entry = less pressure + more curiosity.
💞 Step 5: Keep the Conversation Open
Once you’ve brought it up, don’t make it a one-time talk. Keep checking in:
- “Did you like using that?”
- “Wanna try something new next time?”
- “What felt best for you?”
The more natural these check-ins become, the easier it is to explore together without shame or awkwardness.
A Few Go-To Couple-Friendly Toys to Explore
| Toy Type | Why It’s Great |
|---|---|
| Couples’ Vibrator (e.g. We-Vibe Chorus) | Worn during sex for shared stimulation |
| Bullet Vibrator | Small, versatile, and easy to control together |
| Remote-Controlled Egg | Great for public play, long-distance, or teasing |
| Massage Oils or Candles | Arousing without being intimidating |
| Suction Toys | Surprisingly fun when used together — especially for foreplay |
Final Thought: It’s Not Weird, It’s Honest
Talking about sex toys isn’t weird — it’s intimate, brave, and loving. It shows you’re invested in keeping things exciting, connected, and full of pleasure. So drop the fear, embrace the play, and invite your partner in with warmth, not pressure.
Because the best kind of intimacy?
Is the kind you create together.
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